“But, Mama, you haven’t taught me about that yet.” All the better, son. I send him out to discover the answer… equipped. I remain near. He must trust in the direction I’ve given, in the foundation we’ve laid… and go… in faith.
Eyes widen. A smile dawns. He runs back, “You were right! Now I know!”
Now he knows the answer. More importantly, he trusts the way.
How many moments have I spent on my knees pleading for wisdom? “Lord, I don’t know the answer. You haven’t taught me that yet. I haven’t been here before. Show me.” I want to know how the story ends. I want to have foresight. I want to know before I need to know.
Wisdom. It was an automatic entry on my Christmas list. “Lord, teach me. I long to know…” I want to be wise as the wise men, wise as Mary, wise as Joseph, wise as the shepherds. And just as I have often looked into the face of a son and said, “Go. You will learn…” so He, too, replies, “Walk, child. You will learn.”
I go. And when I learn, when I discover, when I grow in the way that He would have me to, He is near to catch me up in His arms and rejoice with me.
I read the tender, heart-laid-open testimony of a friend this week… entrusted to me like a precious gift wrapped in ribbon and extended, offered upon cupped hands. They, too, seek wisdom… to know the next chapter. With fresh tears, I thought again of these He used mightily at the birth of His Son. The wise men. The shepherds. Mary. Joseph.
Did they know? Did the wise men have any notion how their journey would change course? Did the shepherds know what would become of their flock left untended in the night? Did Joseph know what it would mean to stand in the gap… between Mary and a scornful world? Did he know how to raise and care for the Savior of mankind, yet his infant Child? Did Mary know how to hold the hand of her Lord, her Son… one man? Did she know her tears would sting hot against her mother’s heart at the foot of the cross? Did she fathom the magnitude of both the joy and pain to come when He chose her, His handmaiden, to make the way for a world lost? Did any of them know?
What they knew wasn’t the end of the story… but simply to listen and go. Listen and go.
If I know all of what He would ask of me… I shall be sorely disappointed… for no growth would come. But when He says, “For you…” and I say, “How could I possibly?” then…. THEN shall I grow in wisdom.
With these thoughts still new in my heart, I heard the choir sing,
“Lord, I don’t understand
Your purpose or Your plan,
Still I say,
Be it unto me.”
He whispers, “Go, child… I ask no more of you than I have prepared you to do. You will learn.”
Like the song of “The Little Drummer Boy”, I have no gift fit for my King, fit for a Father sacrificing His Son for a willful girl’s heart. I have but willing hands and willing feet. I come to the manger, humbled… and ask again, for wisdom. I need not the wisdom to chart the way but to simply embark on the journey. I need not know the answers… but the Way to find them. I keep my eyes on the Star, the manger, the cross, the King of all Kings… Compass of my heart. …And I shall learn.
