Even before my first child was born, I knew I would homeschool. It was perfectly logical (I like logical) and I truly felt called to do so. In fact, it’s one of the first things I can remember feeling called to do. A divorce changed the circumstances in my life dramatically around the time my daughter Kathryn was preschool-aged, and for a while I wondered if I would ever be able to homeschool as I’d planned. I ended up working at a church-run preschool for two years, and my daughter attended there during that time. When she reached kindergarten age, I was finally in a position to homeschool as I’d hoped. Those years of not knowing if I’d be able to homeschool has made me appreciate home educating my children as the blessing that it is.
Years later came another significant call in my life: to adopt a child from the state foster care system. As God orchestrated it all, we adopted a fourteen year old girl named Lindsey. She had struggled through the public school system and had never even known anyone who homeschooled. This was a completely foreign concept to her. To make a very long story short, we tried two different hybrid academies (part private school/part public school) as well as traditional homeschooling, but we battled through them all because she’d made up her mind to hate homeschooling. It broke my heart, and I was at a loss as to what to do.
Finally one day, after another fight over her desire to go to public school, I felt the Lord tell me to send her. She’d made public school an idol, but I was dangerously near making homeschooling an idol. When my husband and I talked it over, he agreed. So this diehard homeschool mom sent her child to the local public high school.
Although I felt strongly this was what God wanted us to do, I still felt like we were throwing her to the wolves. Over the summer, when I took her to meet with the guidance counselor about registration and classes, I felt a little bit like throwing up. But the fact is, God is BIG enough to handle this.
This experience hasn’t been all good for us, but it hasn’t been all bad. I’ve learned a few lessons along the way, too:
- I’m never really in control of my child’s education (or anything else), but God is.
- I must constantly work on keeping my children’s hearts and guiding them spiritually — regardless of where their academic education takes place.
- Being together in the same house does not equal quality time. I can have that whether they are in my home most of the day or not, but I must be intentional about it either way.
- God can teach lessons I can’t.
- Being faithful to Him often takes me out of my comfort zone.
- Sometimes he brings things around full circle. Lindsey is already talking about the possibility of homeschooling next year so that she can graduate on schedule, something she won’t be able to do if she continues in public school. She’d also like to have a job so that buying a car could be something in the foreseeable future, and that won’t happen anytime soon with the stricter schedule of public school.
Someday life circumstances may change what you have planned for your children’s education, so I want to encourage you that it things change, it will be okay. If God leads you there, he will lead you — and your child — through it all.
Jamie is a wife and homemaking mama in a blended family that includes three kids and one exceptionally intelligent dog. She thinks most clearly with a steaming mug of tea in hand, and adores all things retro. Follow along with her journey of homeschooling, adoption, family life and more at See Jamie Blog.
Love this! Thanks for sharing.
Wow.I know there are moms that feel the same way you do, and did, and I’m sure this post will be encouraging to them. There have been times when I’ve prayed whether to continue homeschooling or to seek other options for my family. I love homeschooling and yes, like you, it would break my heart not to do so but ultimately we do only want God’s best for our family and individual children. Thank you for sharing your story, Jamie.
Jamie, thank you for sharing your story. Even though we have already graduated one from homeschooling (he was the reason we started homeschooling), I have been worried about my oldest daughter choosing public school. You have reminded me that my children belong to God and He is the one who will decide whether I will homeschool my children through high school. I need to listen to Him and know that He will decide what is best for our family. Blessings to you and your family, Jamie.
1st can I just say Thank you for adopting out the foster care system!! Wow. How I would love to hear that story. My parents were foster parents for 15+ years, I worked with foster parents/kids through a private foster care agency out of college – not many GOOD stories coming out of that system. So thank you for taking a brave step… in something close to the heart of God: ADOPTION.
2nd I applaud your willingness to listen to God – to be able to hear Him even when a good portion of you probably didn’t like that answer. What we forget in schooling: whether homeschooling or public is that God is the one who should be guiding our families, and protects our children.
Just as He saw fit to bring this young lady into your home – he will walk with her into public school. He who says, “Go!” even when our hearts are breaking at what He asks – can be trusted with our Children, yes, even in public school. God is there too. We forget that there are God-fearing men and women of God who teach, work and send their children to Public school who pray over those halls (I once did), I’ve prayed with them, I have good friends who are public school teachers. God is there. PRAYER is there.
I applaud your decision to listen to God first… to toss an idol even the good ones. And say, Yes to HIS leading. ♥
Jamie, I watched you go through this and constantly thought back to my own daughter and when I sent her to public high school too. You listened to God. You listened to your child, even though you didn’t want to. And although neither of you may see it yet, God’s hand WAS in your homeschooling her too. It was hard but it was NOT wasted time. She came from foster care, from possibly multiple placements (I can only guess) and uncertainty and too many “other” people in her life, to your home, you, and your family. She came into a centered and grounded home that welcomed her and did your best to show her that she is important to you and to God. That is about the best situation a foster kid can possibly come into, ever. We fostered for 9 years and loved every bit of it, even the hard kiddos. When people tell me they want to do foster care and then in the same breath say they have a good daycare, I tell them please don’t do foster care! Foster kids need ONE person, ONE family, ONE set of boundaries and ONE friendly loving face, not a whole bunch of caregivers that pass through. You did will my friend. *hugs*
Thank you for sharing this. I always have people ask if we plan to homeschool all the way through. I can’t see the future, so I always answer that we’re taking one year at a time. It sounds like that’s what your family’s doing too. How exciting to see what each year holds as you near it!
I also think it’s interesting that your daughter has “warmed up” to the idea of homeschooling after spending another year in public school. Sometimes I think kids have to experience things for themselves to understand why we do the things we do.
I admire you for following God’s leading and being obedient to HIm, even though it went against what YOU believed was best for your daughter. To quote Charles Stanley, “Obey God, and leave all the consequences to Him.” You have done that! Brava!
I have a friend here at our church that was homeschooling but because of work situations, she was becoming so overwhelmed with everything that she had to do. She knew that homeschooling was something that she could let go of but fear was keeping her from doing it. I remember talking with her after she made the decision to trust God with her kids and send them to school. It was such a hard step for her but God grew her faith and has worked in her kids lives through public school. Be encouraged that you are not alone in making a tough decision like that and know that God can work in many ways!! None of us know what the future holds and we must be open to the leading hand of God to work in our lives in ways we’d never dreamed. Thanks for posting today!
Thank you for sharing. We are privileged to send our kids to a small, Christian school which is as close to homeschooling as we can make happen right now. But the finances are a challenge and we have to put each year in God’s hands month by month. There’s always the possibility that we might be forced to move them to public school and it makes my stomach churn and my heart race just thinking about it (which I also find ironic since both my husband and I were public school kids and think we turned out fine!)
Sometimes I find that my prayers are more BEGGING God to meet what I think our need is, than thanking Him for providing for what He KNOWS we need. Your lessons learned are something to take to heart.
I never considered the fact that we often make homeschooling an idol! With the lines so clearly drawn, and the two sides so willing to fight vehemently, it really is what we have done. Thank you for sharing how much homeschooling IS a blessing. But at the same time, it isn’t a god to which we should bow down. God is in control of all, and ALL things He works to the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. We public school educated for many years, and now our children get their book learning from home. But as parents, no matter where your kids learn to read and write, we ARE their teachers, and should be schooling them everyday. And just because we homeschool, doesn’t mean we are doing it all right either. You made some very good points, and this was an encouragement to read!
Always trust what the Lord tells you, even when it seems like he’s asking you to jump ship and walk on water in a storm. You know…it’s in those storms that he teaches us to trust him more. If we’re always ‘playing it super safe’ then how will we learn to walk by faith? It’s us who has to take the step… and we sure don’t want to wait around for him to push us out of our nests.
Jamie – I remember how hard it was for you to make this decision and thank you for being brave to share it here. I love that you wrote, “But the fact is, God is BIG enough to handle this.” AMEN !
Great post on rembering that God is sovereign in all circumstances, even the ones we are not in ‘control’ of. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing.
I have always feared the possibility of someday having to send my kids to public school, but you have reminded me that although things in life change and things don’t always goes as planned, keeping faith in God will get us through.
I wish you the best!
Love this reminder! It is so very true – our best-laid plans, as good and RIGHT as they may seem, can be far from the path God leads us on – but He is faithfully with us each step of the way. As a full-time working mama who is also committed to homeschooling, I know this. I know my commitment to training up my child is not lessened by my work, or by her school, or whatever other barriers/resources we might encounter/use.
Love your story, video of the testimony, and pictures. I too, have adopted from the state, and God did have his hand in the whole process. I homeschool all four of my kids and love it, but can simpathize with the decision for an older child to go to her only familiar surrounding…public school. I wish you well on this journey.
Thanks for the kinds words, y’all!
Thank you very much for posting this. Maybe a different perspective for you. I begged my parents to go to public school and they finally conceded when I was a junior in high school. No it wasn’t easy, and yes I made some mistakes. Looking back I realize that it was when my faith was challenged and I stumbled that God caught me and really made my faith real. It’s been almost 10 years since I went to a public school, I’m married, still a Christian and I think a much stronger Christian for the experience. I know as parents we never want our kids to get hurt but sometimes without the hurt and the challenges we can’t grow in our faith either. I will be praying for you and your daughter that this will continue to help your faith. God bless!
Nothing was harder…I mean it felt like the Abraham test when God told me to send my unschooled only daughter to public school.
Only because I know Him could I do it. Thankfully once I really believed it was His will things went smoothly.
Now she is a teenager. I see God fathering and parenting this child of mine. Working out His plan for her life. For years she wanted to go to school and now after middle school and a bit of 6th grade she has refused to attend high school.
She would not say it like this but “the spiritual warfare is intense”.
Praise the Lord that we are sensitive enough to hear His voice and be obedient. I was never homeschooling for religious reasons. In fact we were on the front lines there interacting with families of odd religions and faith or no religion.
I only homeschooled because it felt like the right thing to do just like breastfeeding for two years and doing cloth diapers had. I feel bad for Christian families keeping their kids home to keep them in the Christian bubble when that is not what we are called as parents to do.
Love your story. Thank you for sharing.